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stay at home mom

    Family, Fashion

    I am Not a Stay at Home Mom

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    I remember one of my very first post during my pregnancy I contemplated the issue of being a stay at home mom or being a working mom (view post here). Little did I know before having a child that no matter what kind of mom you were it’s all work. It took me a year after staying home for a couple of months, then working full time for a couple of months, to realizing that neither option worked for me. But during that year, my little mom blog began to grow, and it became my little business. Eventually it became a good source of income to where I was able to focus on it and work from home. But I am not a stay at home mom.

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    Family

    Working Mom V.S. Stay at Home Mom

    When my husband and I first found out we were pregnant this was one of the first issue that came up for us. Our pregnancy was not planned, and at that time we had other personal and relationship goals we were going after.

    At first our plans were for me to either work part time or not at all due to the time restraints my husband had with his job. His schedule required him to work nights two weeks straight and one week off. At that time I was in the first trimester of my pregnancy and honestly I did not feel like working at all.

    But as time passed and my pregnancy progressed, opportunities came presented to us that opened the option of me being able to work full time or part time. Josh, my husband, had received a promotion at work, and I had also become really successful in my career, and both of our mothers were more than willing to babysit whenever we needed it. We agreed daycare would not be an option for us, and my mom was willing to take care of our baby if I decided to work full time. We were lucky we were only 15 minutes away from both sides of our family.

    But even then with all the options before us, I was still hesitant about going to work full time. I felt some what guilty and selfish for pursuing my career. I wanted more than anything
    to be the best mother and wife that I could. My family meant everything to me. It was easier when I didn’t have as many choices. I understood the sacrifices both working mothers and non working mothers make especially when there is no option but to be one or the other.

    It’s not easy being a mom in general. There’s pros and cons in every situation. Being on maternity leave, and not working has given me more appreciation for stay at home moms and all they do. I don’t know if I would be very successful being a full time mommy. I’ve never even changed a diaper in my life! The closest thing to a baby I’ve taken care of is my cat, and she’s pretty darn easy to take care of.

    On the other hand, working full time has its pros and cons too. It’s a sacrifice of time you will miss with your little one. But I have seen a lot of mothers do it and be very successful at what they do including my own mom. And as crazy as it seems I miss work already and I haven’t even been gone for two weeks. I guess for me my work has always given me something to feel accomplished about, daily affirmation that I am good at something. I guess what worries me is if I will feel the same way about motherhood.

    So though I am only a couple days from my due date, and while I’ve given so much thought in my decision, I have yet to make up my mind. But I do know this, there is no right or wrong, no all around better choice. Working or not working, I know all mothers make a sacrifice, and whatever decision they make is a decision they make for the best of their family. As mothers we cannot judge others on their personal choice to work or not work, rather offer support for the decision they do make. I am thankful for having a supportive husband that works hard to be able to give our family that choice, and for our families for being there for us and offering their help with the baby. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and I’m very blessed for our village our child will grow up in, because no matter what decision I make he will be loved unconditionally.

    ? Dawn P. Darnell ?✌️

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