As I walked to the checkout line, waiting to make my purchase, I stared enviously at the lady ahead of me with her cute baby boy in tow. I was 40 weeks past due and walking and shopping was one of my favorite things to do to pass the time. I was ready for my baby to come into this world, and as a first time mom, patience was not on my side. I never felt so envious like this before. At first I was excited and appreciative of all the new moms out there with their babies, knowing I would soon be one of them. But now wherever I looked, in the grocery store, at the mall, on Facebook, Instagram, all I saw was what I was missing out on. I know statistically 40% of first time mothers deliver after their expected due date. But like most first time moms, we all secretly hope to be in the other 60% who have their babies earlier or on time.
Earlier this week I had embarked on an experiment of 10 days and 10 ways of naturally inducing labor. I tried everything:
2. eating pineapples
3. drinking raspberry tea
5. Eating spicy foods
7. Bouncing on an exercise ball
I was hopeful I would be one of those success stories you read on pregnancy websites where it worked for them, but yet no baby for me.
It’s hard not to compare yourself to others, even though you know no two pregnancies are alike. I had to accept that the most natural thing in the world, and one of the biggest gifts God could give you has no due date. He will come when he is ready, not when you are ready. It’s a lesson that not only you will have to learn and accept now but in the future in all stage of your child’s life. We can only do our best and give our best as parents, but ultimately he will be who he wants to be in his on time and in his own ways. It’s funny how even at the earliest stages of conception, God has already given us lessons and insights on the future of the gift that we shall receive.
So as I sit here patiently waiting, tired, anxious, with mix feelings, I am one thing above all and that is grateful. Because if there’s one thing I can 100% bet on is that we can’t be pregnant forever! And whether it be a day or a week from now, I will wait for this blessing to arrive, because in the end I know he will be worth every minute.
<3 Dawn P. Darnell